By Tabitha Evans Moore | EDITOR & PUBLISHER
It’s 2018 and local Holly Bearden sits doubled over in pain on the bottling line at Jack Daniel’s Distillery. She couldn’t breathe and the pain felt so intense. Her only comfort came from lying down on the cool concrete floor. Later at a local emergency room, she learned she suffered from not only stage 4 endometriosis, but her body was also attempting to pass a kidney stone.
“To have an endometriosis flare up and kidney stones at the same time. Lets just say my pain tolerance is through the roof these days,” she says.
Later at her OBGYN, they performed laparoscopic endometriosis surgery – the first of three – and referred her to a Nashville specialist. There, they performed a saline sonogram, a transvaginal ultrasound procedure that helps visualize the uterine cavity by injecting saline solution. She also endured a hysterosalpingogram, a procedure in which dye is run through your fallopian tubes to visualize them for any abnormalities, blockages and pelvic issues.
A week later, she thought she had the flu. Turns out she’d developed pelvic inflammatory disease.
“I was hospitalized for about a week and placed on IV antibiotics. My current fertility doctor, Abby Eblen, and an Oncologist specialist also performed my second endometriosis surgery,” Holly says. “When I woke up they told me that both my fallopian tubes were so badly damaged and mangled that there was no saving them. That’s when I knew IVF was my only option to ever be able to have kids.”
Dreams of three little girls
Holly says she knew soon after getting married that something wasn’t right. She and her husband, Drew, married in 2014 and didn’t wait long before trying to start a family. But it just wasn’t happening.
“I always knew I wanted to be a mom someday,” she says. “Being around my two nephews, Lucas and Jacob Preston, brought me so much love and joy that I wanted to experience every day. I also have the greatest mom who goes above and beyond for our family, and I’ve always said if I could be half the woman and mom that she is I would be successful in life.”
As the youngest of three sisters, she always dreamed of having three little girls who would grow up as best friends, just like she and her sisters, Stacey Kennemer Preston and Kristie Kennemer.
The beginning of her IVF journey
Holly says the following year, she and Drew decided to begin an IVF journey – one she’s been very open about on social media.
“If I could go back in time, I would have sought out help sooner than I did,” she says.
In October 2020, a miracle happened. Holly and Drew welcomed a healthy little girl named Emma Lynn into the world thanks to her first round of IVF. The success rate for IVF in women under the age of 35 is around 50 percent.
In 2023, the couple decided to try again. Later that year, when they learned another baby girl would soon be on her way, they were thrilled, but by March that following year, Holly lost the baby at a heartbreaking 24 weeks.
“Losing our second daughter, Savannah Jo. It is undoubtedly the hardest emotional part of this whole experience,” she says.
Holly’s currently on her third round of IVF. She’ll experience her fourth embryo transfer in June. To celebrate this Mother’s Day, The Times reached out to ask the Bearden’s if they’d share their story to honor the mothers out there that need to take the harder road towards motherhood.
An emotional roller coaster
Holly says losing Savannah Jo remains the hardest part of the IVF journey because that pregnancy felt so fated.
“That whole year leading up to Savannah’s transfer I had so many moments where I saw 11:11. I knew that was an angel number and for a very long time I truly believed God was sending me an angel from above,” she says.
In fact, the day of Savannah Jo’s embryo transfer, Holly arrived for her appointment at exactly 11:11 a.m. She still sometimes looks at the screenshot of that moment on her phone. Holly says it was her personal faith that got her through those dark days.
“Losing her tested me in ways I never knew existed. I questioned God, I was angry. I felt beyond hurt and thought I was dying myself.”
Holly dreamed of “waking up pregnant” instead she faced months of appointments, medications, procedures and injections. She says the process changed her in ways she didn’t expect.
“It becomes so heavy with how much you are dealing with and the costs. But, I also have seen how much stronger it can make your marriage as well,” Holly says. “When I would get bad news at an appointment, I would just want to lean over and cry on Drew. I could never thank him enough for his patience over the last seven years.”
Holly says most people think when you do an embryo transfer that it automatically means a pregnancy, but that’s not always the case and there are no money-back guarantees.
“You could be on the best top dollar medications, get a PGT-A tested normal embryo, and it can still fail. You also don’t get a refund if it doesn’t work.”
Holly says throughout her family’s IVF journey the support from friends and family have been amazing – including her Facebook family with whom she’s shared every step along the way.
“I truly love sharing and teaching others the best I can. The number of women who send me messages is unbelievable. In a way, I’m shocked people trust me for advice and my opinion. I almost feel like one of the OG IVF gals of FB at this point.”
It shows you what you are made of
Though it’s a path and a battle that Holly says she wouldn’t wish on anyone, her IVF battle has taught her how strong and resilient she is. She’s also incredibly determined to have the family she dreamed of in her youth. Though she’s not one to toot her own horn, she now knows exactly what she’s made of.
“To be able to go through several rounds of fertility treatments and then to try again after a second trimester loss at 21 weeks gestation is a hard thing to do. I won’t sugar coat that,” she admits. “I’ve also had to overcome my childhood fear of needles.”
“You can ask anyone that knew me when I was a kid, and they’ll tell you I was terrified of needles. So, the fact I’ve willingly given myself roughly around 1,000 or more injections is something I am proud of for myself.”
Faith over fear
Over these seven years she’s developed a personal mantra: faith over fear. She says she knows God picked her for this battle to be a hope and inspiration to others, which is another reason she’s so public with her journey.
Holly says even with all the time, effort, and money there are still no guarantees, even with her current round of IVF, but she is determined to keep growing her family, and she’s grateful for all the blessings she already enjoys. When we ask what she wants other women who are battling infertility to know who might read this article, Holly says she wants to encourage women to seek help as soon as they suspect something might be wrong.
“If you have been trying for six months to a year and have had zero success, go to your OB. It could be something simple or very invasive. The longer you wait for help the worse things will get. Trust me, it’s my biggest regret not only with my fertility journey but in my second pregnancy. Both times I had signs of something wrong and for some reason I always thought it wouldn’t happen to me,” she says.
“I promise in a blink of an eye it can be you. Find a good doctor that shows that they care – one that will listen to you and find the root cause of your troubles. Take good quality prenatal vitamins and make sure you add in CoQ10 because it helps with egg quality.”
As Mother’s Day approaches, Holly says to be mindful of all women and their personal battles with motherhood. There’s a sadness that comes with the day for some … that invisible battles are still battles.
She, Drew, and Emma Lynn will celebrate Mother’s Day with their families – just a simple meal and the company of those she loves most. She’ll likely also think of Savannah Jo and what might have been. There could be prayers that Emma Lynn will soon have the sibling they all desperately desire.
“To the women who so desperately desire to be a mom one day, always remember how deeply cared and loved for you are. If you need to cry, then cry. That’s normal and shockingly, it may help you feel better. Stay true to your heart. If you can feel it deep inside there is more to your story of becoming a mom then keep going. Take each step and each day as a learning experience. Let it shape you into a strong fierce woman. Don’t ever doubt yourself and believe that your body is worthy to create a baby some day. I always tell myself: Have Faith over Fear, Holly. Faith over Fear.” •
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